Tandem
by Saun
Summary: Five crazy college students write a Sailor Moon tandem. More to come....
1. Prologue

Prologue:  
  
This piece was written in the calm before the storm of our   
Judson years. It is the brainchild of five highly creative   
individuals, eclectic satirists with a yen for Anime and a mastery   
of Pop culture. It is an overflow of years of repression in a non   
conducive environment and the creative spark we kindled in one another.  
  
This work was a mjor stepping stone in all of our lives. For   
some it was out greatest triumph. For others, it was a stepping stone   
to bigger and better things. Through it we acheived a greater bond   
with each other and newfound notoriety in our craft. It was the last   
great project from our band of rogues.  
  
Due to time and fate, this work remains incomplete...  
  
The rules for writing this piece were as follows. Each   
segment was written after seeing only the piece directly before it.   
The segments could be no longer than 2 pages. The order of writing   
was as follows:Saun, Sabi-san, Juri, Roark, and Miki.  
  
All characters herein are entirely fictitious, and we do   
not own any of them. Any relation toa real human being, living   
or dead, no matter how bizarre, is strictly coincidental. No animals   
were injured during the writing of this fic.  
-Juri 


	2. Saun

Saun: 2/9/2000  
  
Ah! I sit down here to write my tale. Don't look so skeptical   
yet, child, I have much to tell you. Some of it seems fantastic, but I   
assure you that it's all true. I saw it with my own eyes! But now my   
vision grows dim and I am afraid that one day soon I will have to go   
and all that I want to tell you will be forgotten, as I will be. So   
now I commit my untutored hand to recording it all upon paper for you   
and yours. Let its whimsy uplift your soul, the biting wit sharpen   
your mind, and above all store its passion in your heart, for when   
you are as old as I, the memories will warm your waking hours.  
  
Dear me, where shall I begin?  
  
Ah, yes, it was the fall and I was....perhaps it was   
the spring...or perhaps...it really...doesn't... matter...at all.   
Such is the nature of reality, it is subjective. Of course, I've kept   
you waiting long enough, young person.  
  
Here begins my tale.... 


	3. Sabi-san

Sabi-san: 2/13/2000  
  
"Awww, come on, Grandma! We already heard this one three   
billion times! Can't you come up with another story?"  
  
"Shut up Zack! Grqndma likes this story." Becca hissed.  
  
"But it's boring! I don't want to hear about how she didn't   
have electricity and TVs back in the good old days!" Zack sneered  
  
Who cares what you want! We are here to make Grandma happy.   
She's happy when she tells the story."  
  
"She's happy when they serve Jell-O."  
  
Sure enough a squeal pierced the air.  
  
"Jell-O! Oh! I love Jell-O! What kind is it today?"   
Grandma looked expectantly at the lady in the white uniform.  
  
"It's lime today, Mrs. Lovell." She said with a "humor   
her" look on her face.  
  
Grandma snatched the bowl of quivering matter and   
greedily gobbled it down.  
  
The children, for the moment forgotten, turned to each   
other. They could hold it in no longer. Slowly their faces crumpled   
and laughter spewed forth.  
  
"Maybe you're right" Becca said in between her giggles.  
  
"Maybe? I *am* right."  
  
They turned back to Grandma. Globules of green slime were   
sliding unchecked down her chin.  



	4. Juri

Juri: 2/14/2000  
  
As the credits began to roll and the small table television   
began to emit the first non-melodious chords of "Getting Along With   
Grandma," the young woman seated at the make up table took one final   
drag off her cigarette and hit the power button. 'I hate these   
Saturday Morning Specials. This show should have been taken off the   
air when that old bag bought the farm.' She opened the door to the   
long hall, stuck her head out, and yelled at the stagehand to find   
out what scene they were on.  
  
"We're re-shooting scene 26. you've got a while before your   
next cue," the boy yelled back.  
  
She slammed the door.  
  
The dressing room was quiet and dimly lit , as all her   
dressing rooms have been, she liked it that way, as it was her   
haven and provided a sanctuary when she had a migraine. The   
stagnant air reeked of cheap liquor and unfiltered Camels. It   
could have been the dressing room of any star, except there were   
no cards or flowers from adoring fans and there were no drugs. She   
got rid of both when her last movie came back an abysmal failure.  
  
She walked slowly back to her make-up chair and looked at   
her reflection. Her pale complexion was not at all flattered by the   
yellow ight being emitted from the bulbs that lined the mirror. Her   
pink hair cascaded down her back in perfect little ringlets, and not   
one bang was out of place. As she glared at herself in the mirror, she   
cursed her mother for giving her those hideous reddish-brown eyes.   
When she was a child. she had been lucky enough to land a job in   
Japan, where people with pink hair and red eyes are not considered   
unusual at all/ but this was California, and the only roles available   
for red-eyed. pink haired freaks are villains, punk addicts, and   
the occasional role in a porn flick. She considered herself fortunate   
to be the villain, given her choices.  
  
"Scene 30 is up in ten minutes! You got that?!" The   
director yelled down the hall.  
  
"Of course I've got it, I'm not a complete moron!" She  
snapped back.  
  
She looked at the two framed pictures she had mounted, one   
on either side of teh doorway. The only two pictures she kept from   
her time working overseas. One of them was a picture of Haruka,   
Michiru, Hotaru, and herself at the cast party after the completion   
of the filming of Stars that was the last time she had seen any of   
them. The other framed image was not actually a picture. It was the   
front cover of The National Inquirer that featured a coked-out,  
350-pound "Sailor Moon" being carted out of her trailer after her last   
overdose. She gained inspiration from both pictures. right now she was   
concentrating on the last happy time spent by her and her three best   
friends. She was actually shamed, to think she had been reduced to this.   
She was glad, in a way, that they had only seen her in her prime.  
  
"Five minutes! That means you too, Pinky."  
  
'I'd like to kill that director,' she thought, and then took one   
last swig of JD, a deep breath, and charged bravely down the hall to the   
stage and the rest of the crew. 


	5. Roark

Roark  
"Scene thirty, take one."  
  
"Hey old Voman. ready to move out of *my* houze?" Chibi-Usa   
tried to look menacing, but the leftover shame and frustration made   
the lines come out sounding pathetic to the ear. It didn't matter. No   
one noticed.  
  
"Why it's...it's what's my line again?" giggled the little   
blonde teenager. Suddenly the set erupted into laughter as the laugh   
track was accidently started by the half-drunk soundman.  
  
"Hey, Pinkie!" the director yelled , not taking his eyes   
off the 'blonde' girl, "Stop distracting Shelley!"  
  
He was rewarded with a hot pink smile.  
  
"Lay off, Sher-man and get your hands out of your   
pockets. Everybody take ten. I got a message for our Russian   
landlady." The voice over the loud speaker was cold, contemptuous,   
and bored. Chibiusa would rather get yelled at-again-rather than   
meet the person who owned it, but her feet started moving in the   
direction it came from.  
  
She walked down several narrow, dingy halls until she   
reached the door she was looking for. She knocked and walked in   
after hearing a half-growled "Come in!"  
  
"Sit." She made her way through the maze of papers toward   
the bright circle of light where the producer sat, looking as   
usual like a bomb someone just lit. he scrawled some gibberish   
on a stack of blue papers, pushed it aside, and looked up.   
Chibiusa did a half-step back. She had completely forgotten just   
how intense his eyes could be.  
  
"I got some bad news, Kid. I know you've got mixed feelings   
about your days in Japan, but it looks like you've gotta spend more   
time thinking about them today than you planned on." Kid. He'd   
always called her kid. She had a sudden flashback, seeing herself   
explaining japan, chattering happily toa carefree boy in her opulent   
dressing room. she closed her eyes - that was another time, another   
world- her life now and opulence weren't even remotely connected   
any more.  
  
She smiled slightly- at least she'd never die the way 'Sailor   
Moon' had. the smile faded- not that Haruka, Michiru, or Hotaru were   
around to see how she would end. She opened her eyes and reached for   
the package that had almost magically appeared from under some pile   
of debris around the producer's desk. 


	6. Miki

Miki: 2/16/2000  
  
The dingy brown wrapping looked strangely worn for a   
package that had just arrived.  
  
"How long have you had this?" Chibi Usa asked curiously,   
but then she winced thinking perhaps that wasn't the smartest   
thing to say.  
  
"Kid, it just came in today, some dark haired woman   
brought it in and just left it. it had your name on it and the   
return address said Japan."  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, it just looked..."  
  
"It's alright," came the gruff reply from behind the   
desk.  
  
"Thank you, sir, for delivering it to me."  
  
"You're welcome, kid, now get out of here." Chibi Usa   
smiled her usual polite smile (the one she had perfected in   
these last few lonely years) and made her way through the   
mangled boxes to the door of the producer's office. Once out   
in the brighter but still dimly lit hallway she stared at the   
package the producer had given her. He was right about the   
address, it said Japan in the corner but that was it. Chibi   
Usa thought she had better get back to teh set. They would be   
missing her soon.  
  
She made her way back through the hallways from which   
she had just come. Just as she rounded the last corner she heard   
the ever more annoying voice of the director.  
  
"Hey Pinkie, Shelley had to cut it short so we'll   
pick up with scene 30 tomorrow. See vou later my little   
Russian landlady."  
  
Chibi Usa winced then nodded and began walking down   
several more moldy hallways to the little known back rooms, one   
of which was her dressing area. She sighed as she lowered her   
tired aching body onto the only piece of furniture in the rom   
aside from a vanity with a crack spider webbing its way down the   
center. She glanced again at the packafe in her hand and slowly,   
almost lovingly, cut the tape away from the edge of the tired paper   
wrapping. Beneath the carefully wrapped paper was a small wooden   
box. She turned it carefully over in her hands. Chibi Usa gasped.   
On the bottom, in the left corner was one word carefully etched   
in the wood.  
  
"Hotaru"  
  
A single tear fell and rolled off the rim of her nose.  
  
Dear Hotaru, how I miss you. i wonder waht you're doing now.   
It's been so long. Now with Usagi dead it gets lonely. How I wish   
I could see you again."  
  
Talking to herself, she had almost forgotten that what she   
held was a box. Slowly, she lifted the lid and peered with lonely   
red eyes into its dark depths...  
  
  



	7. Saun2

Saun: 2/16/2000  
  
Falling...Suddenly, she was falling into the depths of the   
box. She tried to slow her descent, but her body wasn't responding.  
  
"Chibi Usa-chan!" A voice called urgently. Chibi eased into   
wakefulness. Slowly the pink haired senshi opened her red eyes and   
tried to focus. She couldn't feel her limbs and then realized she   
was tied to the wall by dark chains of energy.  
  
"Chibi Usa!" The now familiar voice called again.  
  
"Hotaru-chan?"  
  
"Yes it's me. Hold on, I'll set you free."  
  
There was a great rush of air as teh silence glaive slashed   
down and not only severed the bonds that held the young princess, but   
also whacked off one of her odangos. Saturn and the now free Chibi   
Usa stared in horror at the little clump of pink hair on the ground.  
  
"Oops." said Saturn. "Gomen"  
  
Chibi Usa glared at her.  
  
"Don't worry," Hotaru assured her friend, "I'll fix it."  
  
She reached up and undid the other bun and began to fashion   
one big pointy odango right in he middle of Chibi Usa's head.   
"There," she said when she finished.  
  
"Is it really fixed?" asked Chibi, "Does it look okay?"  
  
"Looks great," lied Saturn. Truth be known her friend looked   
like a short, pink version of Hiawatha, but Hotaru had long since   
learned from her Haruka-papa that a well placed lie could save one   
a lot of grief in a relationship.  
  
"Anyway,"Saturn continued, "the reason you're here is that   
someone has cloned you and was going to replace you with your double."  
  
"Nani?!!" cried Chibi Usa, "I'll find this imposter and   
in the name of the moon I'll punish her! Wait, Hotaru-chan, what   
about my acting job?"  
  
"Huh?" said Hotaru. "Oh, that must have been a dream."  
  
"So Usagi's not dead?"  
  
"No such luck."  
  
"What!?"  
  
Hotaru recovered quickly. No. Such luck you have,   
Chibi-Usa-chan. Come on let's go find the others. They're in the   
tunnels looking for you and the clone so they can destroy it."  
  
They turned and ran down the corridor. As they went around a   
sharp turn, where three tunnels converged, they collided full force   
with the rest of the senshi.  
  
"Minna!" cried Chibi Usa happily. But instead of greeting her   
like they usually did they just stared at her. chibi looked to her   
right and saw her mirror image looking back at her. "Fake!" she yelled.  
  
"Me?" the other Chibi said. "Look at that hair. Would I ever   
wear my hair like that?"  
  
The senshi all turned dark looks on Chibi.  
  
"No, I am the real one! Saturn tell them!"  
  
But Sailor Saturn had been knocked unconscious...  



	8. Sabi-san2

Sabi-san:2/17/2000  
  
Chibi Usa looked at Saturn. Anger clouded her reason.  
She knew she should go to her and be a good friend and act concerned.   
that's what they wanted to see. Instead she found herself towering   
over her fallen friend.  
  
"Get up, you piece of shit! How could you do this to me?   
Don't you dare pull this fainting crap on me! Get up and tell them   
who I am!"  
  
Bad move. the senshi turned now sure looks onto her.  
  
"How dare you talk to Hotaru like that, you evil person!"  
  
Chibi looked around. Sailor moon alright, but where was she   
this time?  
  
"I can't let you impersonate my future daughter and talk to   
her friend that way!"  
  
Chibi looked up. Ah. There stood Sailor Moon, perched on an  
overhanging cliff, looking like an enrqged intergalactic cheerleader.  
  
"In the name of the moon, I'll punish you!"  
  
Chibi was amazed . She was actually going to attack her! And   
no one told her to! There was only one thing to do...  
  
"Hey! You can't do that!" Sailor Moon shouted as she jumped   
off the cliff and ran after Chibi Usa.  
  
That's not the real Chibi Usa. I found the real in the cavern   
back that way."  
  
Innocent red eyes met cold purple ones. The glaive swung   
backwards, and... 


	9. Juri2

Juri: 2/19/2000  
  
...silence filled the room. the little red eyes never lost their   
innocence, even as they slowly glazed over. For an instant it appeared   
as though the glaive had missed her completely. The only thing to   
betray the ultimate fate of the child was the thin scarlet ring that   
encircled her neck like a choker, then began to cloud the immaculate   
color of her fuku. The newly-dead fell to her knees, then flush to   
the ground. only then did the cleanly severed head roll away.  
  
All the senshi breathed a deep sigh of relief.  
  
"Hotaru, you sure made short work of that imposter!" Rei said.   
Hotaru just blushed.  
  
"It was nothing. Now Chibi Usa-chan, what did you call me?"  
  
"Em...err...piece of..pe...peaceful Brit! I distinctly said   
'Get up you peaceful Brit!" Chibi Usa babbled. An unconvinced Hotaru   
took a lighthearted swing with the blunt end of the glaive. Her   
intention was to give Chibi a welt that matched teh one she got   
when she fainted. She did not think the stick would get so much   
momentum. THWACK! chibi Usa's odango bobbed forward like a cheap   
carnival game. She mumbled something incoherent, wobbled a bit and   
passed out cold.  
  
"Gomen nasai, Chibi Usa-chan! Setsuna-mama, call an   
ambulance!"  
  
Sailor pluto diqled 911 on her nifty new cellular phone   
and an ambulance was promptly discharged. hotaru and Setsuna   
started elevating Chibi's ankles tryingt o prevent shock.  
  
All the commotion left a prime opportunity for more   
uninvited guests to enter. Three men stood in the cave opening.   
They all stared at a picture from a manila envelope, then at   
Sailor Moon. the tallest of the men addressed the other two.  
  
"She ain't dressed right. Them fuckon' headlights are   
disorientin'."  
His Brooklyn accent was as thick as his neck.  
  
"How many broads in China..."  
  
"Japan." interjected the third.  
  
"Shuddup! Japan, wherever the hell we are, have long   
blonde hair, much less wear it in tumors on the top of her head?   
See my point? said the second man, whose voice sounded exactly   
like Joe Pesci's which caught the attention of Rei.  
  
"It's her. Go ahead and off her!" Rei whispered as she  
caught their gaze.  
  
"What the hell, said the previously silenced third. "If   
nuthin' else, one less witness." In practiced unison the three   
hit men pulled tommys out of their flowing trench coats. Squared   
up on an incredulous sailor moon, and riddled her with bullets.   
An ecstatic Rei ran over to them with big hearts bulging out of   
her eye sockets. She kissed the ring on the pinky of the tallest   
thug.  
"Don Marducci, you are a truly good man."  
  
Mamoru peeked around the corner. "Is it finished?"  
  
"Yeah," the Don said.  
  
Mamoru breathed a deep sigh of relief, passed a silver   
briefcase to the thug who sounded like Pesci, and ran away.  
  
"A good day's work." Marducci said, and the three   
mobsters turned to leave. An enamored Sailor Mars left with them.  
  
The four departing mobsters parted to let a stretcher , some  
paramedics adn an investigator in. Setsuna flagged down the   
med-flight team, and they loaded Chibi Usa onto the stretcher. S  
eeing the recently departed sailor moon, one of the flight techs   
asked if they needed to be concerned with her, too.  
  
"That's an internal problem. We'll deal with her ourselves."   
Minako said.  
  
The team put a cervical collar on Chibi Usa, strapped her   
down, and ran out, followed closely by Setsuna and Hotaru.  
  
One man stayed. A tall red head in a white military uniform.   
He was extremely handsome and distinguished,a nd Minako thought it   
interesting that his icy blue eyes could even be seen through his   
hair. He walked slowly around surveying the damage.  
  
"This fight was typically amateurish, but what can you   
expect from a group of adolescents fighting armed professionals."  
He sighed. "No revolutionaries here, just as well.." He finally   
addressed the girls. "I'm sorry, that was rude of me. my name is   
Touga Kiryuu, and who might you be?" He walked over to Venus   
and Jupiter. he kissed their hands and gave them a confident  
but gentle smile.  
  
"Would you come with me and tell me exactly what   
happened here?" He said.  
  
Venus and Jupiter could barely muster the strength of   
will to nod their heads. He turned his charms to the remaining   
three senshi.  
  
"Because there were rumors of cloning and other unusual   
goings-on here, the FBI had to be called. The dispatcher said they   
were sending their finest. He said they'd be here soon."  
  
"Arigatou" said Ami.   
  
"My pleasure," Touga replied . With that he disappeared   
from view.  
  
"If you still want to come with me. I'll have my car   
parked out front." He yelled.  
  
Venus and Jupiter just stared at each other, trying to   
confirm that their angelic vision had indeed been real.  
  
"I've never had a boyfriend who looked like *THAT* before."   
Jupiter said in a stupor. Minako just nodded. The two senshi left   
the cavern with mouths agape, like two twitterpated zombies.  
  
Michiru and Haruka sat down in the corner. It was obvious   
fate was trying to play tricks on them. They had never witnessed a   
fiasco like this before, and they were going to stay until the   
bloody end to see what Lady Luck would throw at them next.  
  
"Ami" michiru said.  
  
"Hai"  
  
"Who do you think will be the grand ambassador from the   
FBI?"  
  
"I could tell you who I hope it'll be, but that would be   
impossible," Ami replied.  
  
"We got rid of Usagi, this seems like a good day to have   
fond wishes come true." Countered Haruka.  
  
The cave went silent long before a flash of light caught   
Ami's eye. She saw them first. It was amazing! They looked just   
as sure and confident as they did on TV! They posed at the door,   
flashlights in hand, adn surveyed the room. mulder flashed his  
badge.  
  
"We heard there was some strange phenomenon."  
  
"Hai," said michiru, "and you're the highlight."  
  
She and Haruka smiled and watched them look over Usagi's   
remains and finally at the headless anti-Chibi. Scully took some   
hair and tissue samples from the clone and Ami agreed to go to   
the nearest police station to give a sworn statement. The most   
recent attraction left the cave, and Michiru and Haruka just   
stared at each other.  
  
"Who do you think will come to carry us away?" Haruka   
said.  
  
"After this, probably four big guys with butterfly nets,"   
quipped Michiru.  
  
They decided to wait a few minutes to see if anything   
would happen. After half an hour of peace and quite sure the ordeal   
was over, Michiru turned to Haruka.  
  
"That was truly twisted." Remarked Michiru.  
  
"Hai. We either need to find more stable friends or a   
more stable writer."  
  
They got up and walked to the entrance of the cave.  
  
  



	10. Roark2

Roark  
  
  
Standing against the cave in the afternoon sun was...  
  
"Mamoru-san! Why are you still here?" Haruka had hoped to go   
for a nice "drive" with Michiru, but she decided she could put that   
off until she found out what was wrong with her friend. Michiru, whose   
eyes had just finished focusing, cocked her head. Mamoru looked...odd.   
Happy and sad.  
  
"Marducci drove me over and I was going back with him to spend   
some time with Rei, but then I did some thinking. So I got out of the   
car and walked back here. can you give me a lift to the hospital to see   
Chibi Usa? I sort of expected her to disappear once Sailor Moon was   
was gone, but she didn't. And as I was walking, I realized how much I   
still loved them both. Sailor Moon is not what I wanted or needed, but   
she was pretty special. And Chibi Usa is still my daughter."  
  
Haruka smiled a brillant ear-to-ear, "I'm glad you see it   
that way. Sure, come on. We'll probably hang out there for a while,  
too." Michiru nodded, pleased that things between the two were all   
right.  
  
"I'm glad you see it that way," said a sarcastic female voice.   
A very angry Seiya came from inside the cave in full battle gear toward   
Mamoru.  
  
"It's so nice to know you care after all." Sailor Moon stepped  
out of the cave, completely healed by the Three Lights (and also in   
battle gear). Mamoru backed up and Michiru slid in front of Haruka.   
Sailor Moon gave the three a gentle smile. She said softly,  
  
"Mamoru-san, I am glad you feel that way about Chibi Usa. She   
loves you very much and you're a wonderful father. You're right about   
us not being what the other needs, however." She turned to michiru and   
Haruka. "Please tell the other scouts and Chibi Usa that I love them   
very much."  
  
Taiki and Yaten stepped un-transformed out of the cave. Seiya   
looked at them, then at the trio,a nd finally at Sailor Moon and put   
his hand on her shoulder. Sailor moon looked up at him. he met her   
gaze and then said, "Yesterday Princess Fireball went alone to fight   
an enemy that was too strong for her. She's dead. I came here to get   
Sailor Moon's opinion, but the way things are..."  
  
Sailor moon gently cut in. "I've decided to go withthe   
Starlights. Chibi Usa can rule the Moon kingdom. She's much more mature   
than I was when I found out I was the moon Princess and," she said looking   
at Mamoru, then Haruka and Michiru. "she also has a wonderful father and   
friends to help her."  
  
"Usako." The nickname rose naturally to Mamoru's lips, but Haruka's   
restraining hand cut off any further talk from him. Tsukino Usagi took   
off her pendant and the ring Mamoru had given her. She was suddenly   
wearing the royal robes of the Princess. "Please give Chibi Usa this   
pendant." She put it in his right hand, then silently closed his left   
around the ring. "Good bye, Mamoru-san."  
  
Mamoru bowed deeply. "Good bye, Usagi-san."  
  
Suddenly, the three members of the Moon Kingdom were alone   
again. Mamoru wiped his eyes withthe back of his left hand, then   
tightened his hand, smiling calmly. Michiru and Haruka pretended not   
to notice.  
  
"Ready to go to the hospital now?"  
  
He nodded and the three got into Haruka's car. A small cloud of   
dust arose as they left the now peaceful cave site.  
  
"Ami-chan? I thought you were at the police station." Haruka   
looked around for Mulder and Scully, who were examining touga's eyes   
and hair. He looked them over, then used his never-ending charm to   
lead them out of the hall.  
  
"Not that we're not happy to see you." Michiru said quickly,   
smiling kindly.  
  
Ami who had hoped to find out more about Krychek, watched the   
three drive away from a nearby window sadly. Lita and Mina looked   
absolutely bereft. Ami turned back to Haruka and said, "I was, but   
then I decided to see about Chibi Usa, so here I am."  
  
Mina and Lita, who were shooting daggers at Ami, suddenly   
smiled and nodded, "Yeah we had that odd feeling, too." Another   
simultaneous nod. A flash of light and Sailor Pluto stepped out of   
a side door with Rei in tow. (Rei also looked very bereft and   
irritated) "Let's go see her then."  
  
"Setsuna."  
  
"Mamoru"  
  
As Mamoru turned away from Setsuna, she shook her head.   
  
"All right. Come on," he said lightly to the group,   
"Which way, Ami?"  
  
"I'm not sure I just got here. I'll go find out." She   
stepped behind the oddly abandoned check-in desk, hacked into   
the hospital computer and started looking for Chibi Usa. Setsuna   
put her hand over the keyboard. "I know where she is. I saw her   
checked into 207."  
  
"*Why* do *you* know, all knowing one?" Rei said   
argumentitively, still angry at being taken from Marducci.  
  
Setsuna rolled her eyes. "Because I rode in with the   
ambulance."  
  
"Hey where's Hotaru?"  
  
"Here." Hotaru came out of the elevator. "I just came to   
see if anyone was here. "Let's go." They took the elevator to   
Chibi's room.  
  
"Are you sure this is right?" said Mamoru.  
  
"Yes, why?"  
  
"Because this room is empty."  
  
"Chbi Usa's *missing*?!?"  
  
"Chibi Usa appears to be gone..."  
  
  



	11. Miki2

Miki  
  
"Gone? How can she be gone?" Hotaru's knees buckled and she   
fell tot he floor.  
  
"Hotaru-chan," gasped Haruka. Haruka knelt beside the frail   
form. "HOTARU-CHAN!!"  
  
Through closewd eyes, Hotaru thought, "I'm getting pretty   
good at this fainting thing." Hotaru shook her head and slowly sat   
up. "I'm all right," she whispered. "Hurry, you guys have to find   
her."  
  
"Let's go! Minako-chan, Mako-chan." Rei almost screamed as   
she grabbed the two girls and ran off to see what she could 'sense'   
in the floor heaters of the nearest waiting room. Haruka took   
Michiru's hand.  
  
"Let's go, Love."  
  
"Wait." said Setsuna. "I'll look for her with you guys."  
  
Michiru shot Haruka 'the look.'  
  
"Umm well we thought it would be best if you stayed with   
Hotaru."  
  
"Well..." before she could respond Haruka and Michiru had   
disappeared.  
  
"They always do this! Always! Never any concern for me! Never   
let me come!" Setsuna was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.  
  
"Setsuna-mama, I really don't think you want to go with them.   
I get the idea that they aren't going to look for Chibi Usa."  
  
"That's not the point..."  
  
Hotaru looked quizzically at Setsuna. She had never seen her   
like this. No matter, she still had to get rid of her. Slowly, so as   
not to disturb the obviously mentally unstable, Hotaru reached up and   
pressed the call button.  
  
"Mmm-hmmm, really do you feel that way Setsuna-mama?"  
  
Moments later Setsuna was being carted away by "those nice   
young men in clean white coats."  
  
"Please forgive me Setsuna-mama, but there are matters that  
must be taken care of."  
  
"About time they left" came a hushed voice from the general   
direction of the closet. "But did you have to commit Setsuna?"  
  
"There was no otehr way. We'll have to do this alone."  
  
"Will you get out of the closet already, Chibi Usa-chan."  
  
"Oh yeah, sorry." Out of the closet came a slightly pale, pink   
haired girl in a too big hospital gown. Hotaru sighed.  
  
"You were supposed to be dressed already! They'll be back soon!"  
  
"Turn around" demanded a flustered Chibi Usa.  
  
"...Alright" Hotaru turned back to see an aptly dressed Chibi   
Usa.  
  
"OK let's go, we are supposed to meet out contact in 15   
minutes."  
  
"Where are we supposed to meet?"  
  
"The walls have ears, Chibi Usa-chan. Let's go." the two darkly  
dressed girls slipped quietly from the hospital grounds and down several   
streets to an old abandoned warehouse. hotaru slowly, cautiously opened   
the rotting termine infested door and both girls stepped into the musty   
interior of the building.  
  
"YOU! Eeeek" Chibi Usa screamed.  
  
"Shut up you idiot," Hotaru hissed, "That's the contact."  
  
"Oh" Chibi Usa regained her composure. " I knew that."  
  
"My name is Miki Fresh Fruit" came a gruff voice from within   
the darkness. "And these are my associates, Oo-an-oO and Vader the   
Hitman." Grunts came from several directions od the first.  
  
"Mmmy...nnaame...is..chhib"  
  
"I know who you are!!"  
  
"Wee cammme tooo"  
  
"I know why you came. Do not talk. I will do the talking. You,   
pink haired one, will listen. Do you understand?"  
  
"Hai" came the frightened whisper from the doorway.  
  
"Good, then follow me, I have made ready the arrangements talked   
about."  
  
Hotaru followed Miki and Chibi Usa was right behind eyeing the   
"associates" cautiously. "Here is what we agreed on. I think guns would   
work better, but if this is what you want..."  
  
"Guns don't work. everything we try...BOING...she's back"  
  
"Boing?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Don't mock me, girl, or no deal."  
  
"Alright, alright"Hotaru gave miki what they had agreed upon.  
  
"Thaaan..." Chibi Usa turned bck to thank them, but they were   
gone.   
  
"Chibi Usa-chan" smiled Hotaru, "Who do you want to be?"  
  
Chibi Usa looked at the two sets of clothing warily. Hotaru   
held up a smart white uniform with various strange stains splattered   
about the fabric, and in the other hand she had a hideous cream blouse,   
a pleated hunter green skirt, black dress shoes, and a straw hat. Chibi   
Usa looked at the skirt.  
  
"Oh geeze, do they actually wear that?" She snickered.  
  
"Put it on," demanded Hotaru.  
  
"What, I thought I got a choice..."  
  
"No, put it on. We don't have much time, just put the damn   
clothes on."  
  
"Fine" chibi Usa hissed. And with that both girls scrambled   
away and returned 5 minutes later. Chibi Usa muffled her laughter.."You   
look like an idiot"   
  
"So do you"  
  
They both shot each otehr a look.  
  
"Well let's get this show on the road."  
  
They climbed into their appointed vehicles and started and   
started the engines. Ding ding ding, ladedadada ladedadada...Usagi   
heard the compellingly beautiful sounds of her favorite song. The one   
they always play out of the ice cream truck. Usagi's eyes got that   
animal-like twinkle.  
  
"Wait, I need a Fudgie Pop, and a Stawberry Creamsicle, and   
an Orange Ice Cream Cone." That special diet she was on was all but   
forgotten as she desperately chased the ice cream truck down the   
street. 'It won't stop, they always stopped...' she thought.  
  
The truck stopped at a stop sign! She would catch it now for   
sure. Usagi increased her speed. Noooooo! The truck had started to   
continue through the intersection. She squeezed her eyes shut and   
ran with all her might. Suddenly Usagi heard another song coming from   
her right.  
  
'God you ae the greatest we lift up your name...'  
  
The sounds got louder and louder, they were coming quickly.   
Usagi turned toward the new noise.  
  
SPLAT. All teh air was knocked from her chest and there was a   
huge pressure. Her eyes rolled back. "Baptist!""Baptist"  
She kept seeing that word. Suddenly she heard an almost familiar   
voice scream.  
  
"A blessing, it's a blessing! Hurry, we have to get to   
church!"  
  
The pressure was suddenly released but it no longer mattered,   
all was already lost. the last thing she saw before she died was the   
bumper sticker on the back of the vehicle.  
  
Happy Hill Baptist Van, we'll take you to meet our God  
  
With one last breath Usagi's crumpled, smashed, tire-ridden  
body gave up living never to be revived. Ever!!  
  
Splash, splash. Chibi Usa and Hotaru looked on as the ice   
cream truck and Happy Hill Baptist Van rolled slowly into the old  
and funky lake.  
  
"She better be dead," said an exhausted Hotaru.  
  
"She is" said Chibi. "I heard the bones crack."  
  
"Good. We better hurry, Chibi Usa-chan, the others will be  
missing us soon."  
  
The two girls turned and walked back toward the hospital to   
find the others who, all but Haruka, Michiru, and Setsuna, were all   
still looking for Chibi Usa.   
  
  



	12. Saun3

Saun: 2/22/2000  
  
Michiru and Haruka were making out in the janitor's closet   
of the hospital. Michiru suddenly gasped and jerked back from her   
lover's embrace.  
  
"Michiru?" Haruka asked worriedly.  
  
Michiru had her hand over her forehead where her symbol   
burned brightly underneath.  
  
"Haruka, my head hurts."  
  
"It's okay, love. It's okay. Let me have a look." She   
gently removed her darling's hand and gasped in shock, for burning   
on Michiru's forehead was a yellow crescent.  
  
Setsuna cackled maniacally as she darted past the guards   
at the gate. With her lover's help she had escaped from the   
institution that Hotaru had send her to. 'Freedom!' her mind shouted.   
She heard a noise and so she dove under a bush. She lay in the dark   
straining to hear anything more. Suddenly strong arms closed around   
her and her subsequent scream was silenced by a forceful kiss.  
  
"Endymion."  
  
"Yes, it is I my love." He kissed her again.  
  
"Stop. We can't! You know that."  
  
"Yes, my love, we can. She's dead."  
  
"Nani?!?"  
  
"Oh Setsuna I have waited for this day for so long. We're   
finally free to love each other and reclaim OUR daughter. We'll s  
ave the world ourselves and live happily ever after in a little   
cottage somewhere."  
  
"She's dead? Truly?"  
  
"Yes, my love."  
  
"Oh Endy! make love to me, Darling!" And all was quiet   
except for the frenetic rustling of some bushes.  
  
Hotaru and Chibi Usa were very pleased with themselves.  
  
"Now I'm the empress of the world," cried Chibi Usa.  
  
"And I'm your grand vizier-evil henchwoman." affirmed Saturn   
happily. She slapped the palm of her hand to her forehead. "Oh no, I   
forgot about Setsuna-mama!"  
  
The two adorable power hungry little monsters scampered back   
toward the hospital. they were surprised to see the four inner senshi  
gathered around Haruka and Michiru. The four senshi wore identical   
looks of grim determination. Haruka had her arms wrapped around a   
softly weeping Michiru.  
  
"Michiru-mama, what's wrong?" called a concerned Hotaru.   
  
The beautiful aqua haired woman looked up at her daughter,   
the crescent apparent. Hotaru and chibi Usa stopped dead in their   
tracks.   
  
"No, that's wrong. I'm the princess now!"  
  
Hotaru couldn't contain it, she just started laughing. Chibi   
Usa kicked her.  
  
I want to know how this happened! Pinkie demanded.  
  
I'll tell you," said a quiet voice from behind the group.  
  
"Setsuna!"  
  
There stood the garnet-eyes senshi hand in hand with Endymion.  
  
"It all began back at the Crystal Millennium. The Queen of the   
moon fell in love withthe King of Neptune. The affair bore fruit. the   
queen was delighted with her delicate little aqua-haired daughter. She  
wanted to raise her on the moon, but the child had such an affinity for   
the water that the queen didn't have the heart to lock her away from it   
or her father. So the child was raised on her paternal planet and assumed   
her position as the Senshi of Neptune."  
  
"The queen just abandoned her own child!?" Haruka said in a   
disbelieving voice. She couldn't understand why anyone would give up   
being able to spend time with her beloved Michiru.  
  
"Well," continued Setsuna, "it wasn't the first child she'd   
'misplaced'."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"No, the queen had an affair with the king of the Earth."  
  
Everyone looked at Mamoru/Endymion and for the first time   
noticed that his deep blue eyes were the same color as Michiru's.  
  
"Brother" Michiru whispered.  
  
"Sister" he said. They embraced.  
  
"Wait, there's more!" said Setsuna really getting into it now.  
  
"The queen had twins!" she proclaimed dramatically. "She sent   
her first daughter to another solar system to foster in another court."  
  
"Who?" cried Michiru and Mamoru.  
  
"Me" said a familiar voice.  
  
"You!" they gasped.  
  
"Seiya!"  
  
"Brother!"  
  
"Sister!"  
  
"Sister!"  
  
"Brother!" The three blue-eyed siblings hugged each other   
tightly. They stepped back, tears in their eyes.  
  
"What about Usagi?" demanded Ami.  
  
"Well, she was also the queen's child, but her father was the   
gardener. he wasn't very bright, but apparently there was something   
about him that caught the queens's attention." Setsuna disclosed.  
  
"Yeah, he was breathing," Haruka muttered. Michiru whacked her   
in the arm.  
  
"Wait a minute. you both went after your sister??" Minaki noted   
in disgust, pointing at Mamoru and Seiya.  
  
"Ew, gross!" gasped Rei.  
  
"It was a ruse!" cried mamoru. "I only pretended to like her so   
I could go to the moon and see Setsuna!"  
  
"Aww" everyone nodded their head in approval. Seiya looked   
uncomfortable.  
  
"Me too - I only pretended to like her so I could see...Chibi   
Chibi."  
  
"Ew that's worse!"  
  
"No,no, I thought of that little girl as my very own. Very   
maternal-yeah."  
  
"Aww how sweet..."  
  
Setsuna turned the conversation back to more important matters.  
  
"And you Chibi Usa, are our daughter, mine and Endy's. You shall   
be known as 'Chibi Usa' no longer, but rather 'Chibi Setsu'."  
  
"Chibi Setsu! I don't wanna be Chibi SETSU! I want to be her   
royal highness the queen of the universe you're not worthy to lick the   
bottom of my shoe, royal majesty wonder ruler!"  
  
"Shut up" cried Hotaru, not pleased that their role in Usagi's   
demise might be disclosed by her egotistical partner in crime. But   
Mamoru just smiled indulgently.  
  
"Now," said Setsuna, "we all need to be aware that Michiru is   
both the sensho of Neptune and the moon. Here is your ration Silver   
imperium Crystal and nifty star seed. Oh, and let's not forget a great   
big pure heart." She handed the aformentioned items to michiru with   
great ceremony, but the solemnity of the occasion was somewhat broken by   
the presence of twigs and leaves in Setsuna's hair and the grass stains on   
her shirt.  
  
"Oh, Haruka," Michi said.  
  
"Oh, Michiru." Ruka said, and they kissed deeply.  
  
Everyone else took the initiative from their new princess and   
"prince" and gave each other big hugs.  
  
"Sister!"  
  
"Brother!"  
  
"Neice!"  
  
"Get away from me, I'm the ruler of the...MMPH!"  
  
"Friend!"  
  
"Daughter!"  
  
"Inners!"  
  
"Outers!"  
  
"Starlights!"  
  
Everyone was busy distributing warm fuzzies, but behind a nearby   
tree a pair of hate filled eyes watched and narrowed when the being   
charged the senshi, Makoto turned and saw the person. She screamed.   
  
"Oh my gosh its..."  



End file.
